Quiet Words

“The quiet words of the wise are more effective than the ranting of a king of fools.” Ecclesiastes 9:17 (The Message)

From my experience it usually is borne out that the one who yells the loudest has the least amount of reason on his side. If we are persuaded that our argument will bear scrutiny, we feel little constraint to yell louder to make our point.

It is important to train ourselves in quietness, so that, when the occasion arises to defend truth, we do so out of a quiet wisdom rather than like a roaring wildfire eating up all that is in its path. This can be applied to all kinds of communication.

I think about arguments I have had with my wife. (Yes, we argue; imagine that!) When I am frustrated I will get louder and louder hoping to make my point. The only thing I accomplish is raising the overall volume of the argument. Though my wife rarely raises her voice, my constant increase of the decibels eventually forces her to a louder tone as well. Heat increases, understanding does not.

Arguments usually have little to do with defending the truth and more to do with simply winning. They are about self’s desire to always be right. Dissatisfied to simply let the dispute drop, we press our point home with ever-increasing volume.

But, if we are well assured of our case, knowing the reasons for what we pursue, we can more easily keep our cool when discussing the topic. Of course, this is not the only thing that contributes to one’s ability keep the peace, but it is a weighty component. The ability to quietly and reasonably lay out our rationale can keep the conversation from escalating to the point of incomprehension.

We live right next to a state highway that often has lumber trucks rumbling by. It also is at the base of a hill where the drives downshift in preparation for the climb. It all adds up to a noisy rumble that overwhelms all other sounds within the house. Conversations must be started over, the movie must be rewound, or the music needs to be started over again. The noise drowned out everything else.

Even so, the noise of our arguments usually drowns out the point we want to make. In nearly all communication, emotion trumps content. Most of us may not remember the words spoken in a setting, but we almost always recall the emotion. “I don’t remember a thing she said; I just know she was angry.” “He could have repeated the phone book for all I cared; I just heard how much he loved me.”

Even in following Christ, we need to keep this in mind. If the “quiet words of the wise” are the most effective, then it follows that we must shut down much of our internal noise to hear Him speak to our hearts. Instead of knee-jerk responses to statements with which we might disagree, it might prove more fruitful to slow down, quiet down and allow the Holy Spirit to speak the “quiet words of the wise” into our own hearts.

So, instead of rearming ourselves with more ammunition to counter the loud argument of an adversary, perhaps we can allow ourselves the luxury of quiet repose. Though bigger guns may win wars, louder words seldom win the side in disagreements. Learn the art of quietness. It may mean backing down from the argument for the time being and allowing your heart time to quietly consider its response.