The Art of Confident Humility

The Art of Confident Humility

“Too much pride brings disgrace; humility leads to honor.” Proverbs 29:23

Our daughter Sarah teaches first grade. I love hearing the stories she tells about her young students. The other day a little boy hurt his head on the playground and was taken to the office. They gave him an ice pack to put on the injury. When he went to take it back the secretary asked, “Is it better?” He replied, “The side where I put the ice feels better. But there is a bump on the other side too.” Puzzled, she asked him, “How did you get that one.” “I don’t know. Maybe when I came through the birth canal.”

Even though Sarah teaches first grade, a kindergartner noticed her recently. Sarah had worn her hair in braids the day before and took them out for the next day, leaving her hair fluffy and a little wild. To keep it all under control she wore a headband and pushed it up over the unruly hair. The little student was heard to say, “I like Ms. Phillips’ hair today. Now she looks like a little kid like me.”

From a five-year-old, that is a compliment. If I was to tell her she “looks like a kid” she might refuse to call her father for a day or two. But, here’s the thought: Sarah’s self-confidence shines through a loving humility that others can see. Without saying too much, she has worked hard to have a positive outlook combined with a humble spirit.

I like eating out and trying new cuisines. Who is it that tells you about the special of the day? Usually the server, right? The chef doesn’t come out and brag about her creations before you have taken a bite. The server tells you about the menu and you might ask him to recommend something. “The asparagus jubilee is out of this world tonight,” he might say. (No one would say that, but I think I got your attention.)

You go ahead and order the special. You have good conversation during the meal punctuated with sips of wine and comments about the other diners. You take your time tasting each bite of this new experience and are surprised at how delicious it was. You call the server over and utter the classic words, “My compliments to the chef.”

If we reverse that scenario, and the chef comes out first, bragging about every item on the menu, there won’t be many plates coming to the window for service. She is too busy puffing her accomplishments to actually provide you with the scrumptious meal. No “compliments” to her at the end of the meal, and if she made a habit of this behavior, she might not have a job in a few days.

There is a problem I see in much of the conservative church world; we have an answer for everything. We schedule “Daniel Fasts” as if that is a Biblical mandate rather than a historical record of a particular situation. We talk about “binding the strong man” without really understanding what Jesus meant. We “take authority” over this spirit and that spirit while the poor are hungry just blocks away from our church doors.

What if we took Jesus’ words about “blessed are the meek, the poor, the peacemakers, the hungry for justice” seriously? What if we spent less time trying to make things happen in the “spirit world” and simply lived out the Spirit of Christ who indwells us? What if we humbly and daily submitted our needy and hungering hearts to the God who loves us dearly?

Here is our example: “Christ was humble. He obeyed God and even died on a cross. Then God gave Christ the highest place and honored his name above all others.” (Philippians 2:8-9) Jesus, who was truly God, didn’t make a big deal about his divinity. He gave up that standing and became like us. Why? Out of love. God, who has every reason to boast, chose humble love as the way to bring us to Him.

Your very life is not your own, it is a gift. Did you decide to have brown eyes? Was it your choice to have a brain for math? Did you create the muscles that help you dig your garden, throw a football well or wiggle your toes in the sand? Why, then, should we boast about anything?

Everything is grace, from your first breath to the life God has offered you in Christ. Everything has been given to you by the One who loves you the best. True humility recognizes this, rejoices in this and revels in wonder.

In the fourth chapter of John Jesus strikes up a conversation with a Samaritan woman at a well. He does not begin by saying, “I’m the Messiah, now worship me.” Instead, he humbly asks her for a drink. Their dialogue continues as she wonders that this Jewish man would as her, a woman five times married, for a drink of water. As she becomes more convinced of the goodness and kindness that stand before her, she calls him a prophet and asks about where people should worship.

It is only near the end of the conversation that Jesus reveals he is the Messiah. She says, “I know that the Messiah will come. He is the one we call Christ. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.”

Jesus replies, “I am that one and I am speaking to you now.”

Jesus, confident in his identity as the Messiah, did not have to boast or lead with that. Instead he created a relationship with her. He engaged in one of the deepest spiritual conversations in the gospels with an outcast woman. He neither condemned her nor puffed himself up. He led her close by showing interest in her life and her thoughts. And, as when the sun peeks through a day dark with clouds, Jesus admitted “I am that one; I am the Messiah.”

For a Christian, our maturity is measured by our likeness to Christ. It matters not if it is emotional or spiritual maturity; Jesus’ character is what determines our identity and our progress.

Our maturity is stunted if we do not stop the flow of ego. But we grow as we open our hearts to hear. Boasting and ego will cause us to be cut off from friends with whom we disagree. It can cut us off from business ideas because we think our way is the only way to do things. It will cut us off from learning because we already know how things are supposed to happen.

Most of all, it can cut us off from the Holy Spirit, because our experience is more important than what She actually wants to do within us. Boastfulness is loud. The work of God’s Spirit is quiet and must be heard with an open and receptive heart.

Learn the art of confident humility. Simply go about the business of doing good in the world, representing the grace you have received from Christ. Leave the bragging and boastfulness to others.

"Father, What do You Want?"

"Father, What do You Want?"

^“Going a little ahead, he fell on his face, praying, ‘My Father, if there is any way, get me out of this. But please, not what I want. You, what do you want?’” Matthew 28:9

Jesus took His three closest associates on one final, intimate moment together. His arrest and crucifixion loomed large on the horizon, and late that evening He seeks His heavenly Father for solace, a bit of negotiating, and final submission to the plan set long ago for mankind’s freedom.

No More Shut Doors

(“And they say, ‘The Lord does not see; the God of Jacob does not perceive.’” Psalm 94:7)

I wonder how many Christians actually live like this; going about our life as if God doesn’t actually see or perceive what we are doing. Oh, I don’t mean the usual drinking, smoking, drug addiction and other illicit activity we like to shake our fingers at. I do remember, though, from both parents and preachers, the “eyes of the Lord” being a big incentive to refrain from diving headlong into uncharted sins.

Find Me

Find Me

(“The Lord God has told us what is right   and what he demands: ‘See that justice is done, let mercy be your first concern, and humbly obey your God.’” Micah 6:8)

Magnify the road we walk,
the uphill path across the i-beam shadows
of trees on the left and a stream on the right.
Do not journey alone on the path made for
more
than single file silence. The wordless ways
we speak are shared in breathless rhythms.

The early autumn recites the first frost
and so our hoods are pulled tightly overhead,
our fingers holed up inside our sweatshirt sleeves.
By noon we sweat, as autumn demands our attention
before ice replaces frost below the footprints we
lay down today.

Repeats of family hikes, reverie of first friends
wandering the hills, squandering the day, living
on coca cola and trail mix; hoping to see wildlife,
taking our time. We forget the days fade so quickly
come October’s dominance and sway.

Branches lie strewn on the forest floor, remnants
of life unattached. The decay begins the moment the
wind bends it beyond nature’s hinge; yet still it hides
life beneath its sundried core scattering at first movement
or light.

The writer is dim today, and longer than autumn should allow.
Joy with a handful, laughter unabashed and a trip to the
Grand Canyon
might swell the life he dropped on the way, tumbling along
the chalky cliff with orange gloves still waving from outcrops
between the cracks.

Too late to return and find it before darkness cover our tracks.

Find me merciful, please, though I’ve lost most of my companions.
Find me humble, still, but ready. Point me, and, though I do
not
recognize the way
I will still say, “Lead me”. But, on this
October day,
I’d prefer another who understand my solitude,
my silence and can cure me to the bold man I once knew
in May.

Hungry?

Hungry?

“’What sign then are You going to do so we may see and believe You?’ they asked. ‘What are You going to perform?’” John 6:30

If there was ever a time for Jesus to become frustrated in His earthly ministry, this was it! Consider this: between chapters two and six of the gospel of John, Jesus has performed five miraculous signs. He had turned water into wine, healed the son of a royal official, healed a man who had been lame for 38 years, fed 5,000 people with only five barley loaves and two fish, and had walked on the water, stilling the storm and calming the disciples, three miles from land.

Light...not Smoke!

“He will give light to those who live in the dark and in death’s shadow. He will guide us into the way of peace.” Luke 1:79

A Barna Research Group poll conducted in the summer of 2013 found that atheists commit fewer crimes, divorce less, and are better educated than Christians. According to the survey, fundamentalist Christians have the highest divorce rate, followed by Jews and Baptists. Those professing no faith were tied with Catholics and Lutherans for the lowest divorce rate.

You Did Well

“The master answered, ‘You did well. You are a good and loyal servant. Because you were loyal with small things, I will let you care for much greater things. Come and share my joy with me.’” Matthew 25:23

It is good to set our sights high, to have lofty dreams and hope to achieve great things in our lives. In fact, Scripture often encourages us with phrases like “Set your mind on things above” and refers to believers as priests and kings. The difficulty lies in the leap we make from the effort needed to accomplish those dreams and the big payoff we are hoping for.

Your Ride, Your Majesty

“Do not be afraid, people of Zion! Look! Your king is coming. He is riding on a young donkey.” John 12:15

“Your Majesty”. Perhaps the first time we hear that phrase it is in the context of a child’s fairy tale or a Disney animated story. The “Majesty” is always the king or queen resplendent in their royal garb. The crown sparkles with gemstones on their head and the gold vestment flows down from their shoulders as they sit upon their elevated throne. A subject has entered, kneeling below, waiting for his “Majesty” to lower the scepter, indicating his approval.

Quiet Wisdom

“Who in your community is understanding and wise? Let his example, which is marked by wisdom and gentleness, blaze a trail for others.” James 3:13

I recently enjoyed lunch with a good friend. As topic flowed into topic the name of a well known Christian leader came up. My friend expressed concern that this leader had become somewhat arrogant in the last few years. Not having followed his ministry recently, I did a bit of research and I now think I understand what she meant. There are ripples of harshness that run through even his public materials.

Bold Humility

“Through him (Christ) and through faith in him we can approach God. We can come to him freely. We can come without fear.” Ephesians 3:12

It is only the humble who can be bold with God. Jesus told the story about two men who were praying in the temple. The narrator says that Jesus told it to people who were certain that they were alright with God. They also looked down on everyone else.

One was a Pharisee. They were the religious elite of the day. They studied Scripture regularly, prayed long and loud, and were scrupulous about religious rules. The other man was a tax collector. No one likes the tax man, even today. Imagine coming home to a voice-mail that began, “This is Roger from the IRS…”

Tax collectors during Jesus’ time were doubly hated. Israel was under Roman rule, so taxes were collected for Caesar. A Jewish man could make a fairly good living as a tax collector. They were charged with turning in the government’s assessment and could keep any extra for themselves. The less scrupulous would pile hefty surcharges on the taxes levied by Rome. Their fellow Jews saw this as robbery, and with good cause.

Jesus begins his story by simply saying these two men, a Pharisee and a tax collector, went up to the temple to pray. It would be like saying a well-known mega-church pastor and a member of the mafia walked into a prayer meeting. We know who God is going to hear; or so we think.

The Pharisee prays, and he sounds like he knows how to pray. He is thankful: “God, I thank you that I am not like other people.”

He is moral: “I am not like robbers or those who do other evil things. I am not like those who commit adultery. I am not even like this tax collector.”

He is dedicated: “I fast twice a week.”

He is generous: “I give a tenth of all I get.”

Can you hear the hum of the “amens” scatter across the prayer meeting?

The tax collector prayed. Oh, it didn’t sound like prayer. It sounded like a desperate plea from somebody who was on his last legs. He used no religious language, didn’t refer to any devotion he had for God at all. He was loud and probably interrupted the flow and atmosphere of the prayer meeting. Unlike the pastor, who looked up to heaven, this tax collector buried his head in his arms.

He beat his chest and said, “God, have mercy on me. I am a sinner.” That was it. No amen. No repeating it again for good effect. It was all rather uncomely; this “prayer” blabbered by the intrusive tax collector.

Jesus sees it otherwise. “I tell you, the tax collector went home accepted by God.” He goes on to tell us the Pharisee was not accepted because everyone who lifts themselves up will be brought down. But, anyone who is brought down will be lifted up. I truly wonder, when it is there in black and white, how we get so mixed up about Jesus’ values!

Who had the right to come freely and without fear? The very one who thought he had everything to fear! But, through Christ, and trusting Him, we can come freely to God. We do not have to fear. The cross showed us that our sins were no longer a roadblock to the Father. Through His death Jesus tore down every barrier between God and us. That is why only the humble come boldly.

Imagine I prayed, “God, I’ve been a pastor for years. Look at how many people I’ve influenced for You. I pray daily. I give regularly. And I sing really loud during worship services. My radio is always set to Contemporary Christian music and all my kids were home-schooled  Now, please hear me.” God would reply, “What? Who are you?”

But, based on Jesus’ story and Paul’s teaching, when I humbly acknowledge I need His mercy I have full and immediate access to all of God. What do we think God needs that we could ever give Him? How arrogant are we to think He would be bowled over by our puny efforts at impressing Him?

When we understand that our greatest need is mercy and God’s greatest pleasure is forgiveness, our prayer will be transformed. We won’t try to bribe God with our deeds. We won’t try to impress Him with our devotion. We will simply acknowledge that apart from Him we are nothing. Boldly, as children who have nothing but their Father, rely upon their Father alone because of Christ’s work of forgiveness.

Try the tax collector’s prayer. You may discover that humility and boldness are a pleasant mixture when it comes to meeting with God.

Experts

“Then arrogant people will be brought down, and high and mighty people will be humbled. On that day Yahweh alone will be honored.” Isaiah 2:18

It pains me to say it, but God is not looking for experts. The experts who disturb me the most are people who know exactly how to raise children. Oh, not any sort of child-rearing expert; I mean the ones who have not had children yet, themselves. I was one of them. I had it figured out long before our first beautiful boy was born.

Recognition

“Now remember what you were, my friends, when God called you. From the human point of view few of you were wise or powerful or of high social standing.” 1 Corinthians 1:26

I believe we all long for recognition. I love watching children after they have created something special. Maybe it is a cutout of Jonah and the Whale provided by the Sunday School curriculum. Or perhaps they have finished a masterpiece with crayons and markers on paper. They proudly point to each person or item. Maybe they created a small bowl of clay and now Mom and Dad are expected to use it for paper clips or rubber bands. Well, it doesn’t really matter what it is used for, as long as it is used and appointed a place of honor in the front room.

A Plea for Restraint

“Lord God All-Powerful, you are and you were, and we thank you. You used your great power and started ruling.” Revelation 11:17

Who is God to me? Is He just someone I refer to, hoping He will rubber stamp my preconceived notions? My heart breaks over so many followers of Jesus invoking His name to lobby for personal interest. I am baffled over the pettiness and ill will toward people who disagree with us. We don’t inquire of their personal faith, nor their own walk with God; No, they support gun control, they want health care reform, and suddenly, they can’t be followers. I have purposely left out two of the most volatile push-button issues because a strong Biblical case can be made for a particular opinion or stand on them.

How Bold

How Bold?

(“For the Spirit that God has given us does not make us timid; instead, his Spirit fills us with power, love, and self-control.” 2 Timothy 1:7)

I suspect there are many who feel they do not need this verse. I would be the first to agree. There are whole groups of people who have no problem with timidity at all. They demand a new room in a motel of the sheets are the wrong size, or boldly jump the line at the grocery store without a glance back at the mother behind them, laden with packages, children and a purse hanging somewhere from her arms or shoulders.

Company

“Company”

(“Then Jesus poured water into a bowl and began to wash the followers’ feet. He dried their feet with the towel that was wrapped around his waist.” John 13:5)

Even a poet’s feet get filthy,
feel squishy between the toes after rain,
freeze in the winter.
But I would not claim to be a poet
just to redeem my claim to stand in line
for another pedicure.

Poet, defined; the words they line up in a dictionary:
one who writes poetry.

If the offer is to all who fulfill the definition, void of any
reference to the quality of work product, laureates or publications,

Then I think I will, if you please, allow my uncut toenails
be seen as I sit in between number one and three. They had
an appointment, and I decided at the last minute. My socks are
dank, end of day.

Poet’s sweat, anxiety happens.

Peter said it all for me, didn’t he? “No, not my feet!
Please don’t touch them! They are wrinkled, old with calluses,
black with city dirt and are quiet ugly, having inherited my
mother’s long second toe and my father’s hammer.”

Peter heard it for me, didn’t he? “You are not one of mine,
if I do not wash your feet. I know your objection: you are human,
I am divine. Now let me wash you; it is time.”

Peter said it all for me, one more time, didn’t he? “Then a shower, please!”

Peter heard it for us, didn’t he? “You’re clean already”.

Some think poets hardly work and would rather throw words to the wind
and hope they float down rearranging again into the next epic. And we do.
If it were possible. If world’s were created thusly.

He calls me clean and I still wash the sweat vigorously,
(my scent may define me). But today I sit in line, talk shop
with poets one and three
and wonder that any of us are asked
to keep Him company.

Into The Quiet

Into the Quiet

(“When Jesus saw that they were ready to force him to be their king, he slipped away into the hills by himself.” John 6:15)

I have seen men on cable tv with atrocious haircuts (and women too)
speaking for God the Creator of All, the Potentate and Holy One,
Invisible, Omnipotent, Omnipresent, Who speaketh unto us
in antique English like Shakespeare. There is a reason students shudder
at both Titus Andronicus and the KJV of Lamentations.

Could I understand κοινή Greek commonly, I could dispense
with tv translations altogether. But that is another poem which
must wait until I learn to translate my own stubborn phrases into
a language dead enough that none could critique my work.

I have seen graves with green unsettled. Half a dozen, an hour before dark,
and a day after the cancer won the struggle for the man’s last breath, the grass
hugging the sod with the shine from too many shoes shuffling a certain prayer
they were told would bring the widower’s husband back.

I have seen tv men swear to resurrection, prayer that brought the hands
disrupting the dirt piled above. The man climbed out, without stepstool
or directions, to find the world the same as it was the day his respirations
ceased.

I have seen tv men (and women too), or those with no access to air time who
snatch their lucky anointing because they lived long enough to finally receive the
votes they needed to give them the freedom to tell the unheeding
how God’s creeds are meant to be obeyed. Shame for the backward glances
and unanswered mail when a voter needs an answer.

Oh, but You, Son of Man and of God, eschew hairdos and personal assistants,
but find Your time alone on hillside fog and morning with Father to hear
how Your kingdom comes
without popular vote or golden thrones. And though its sorrow must
waft like incense through every fiber of Your humanity, the cross is
Your throne and our misdeeds Your crown.

I heard that you told those closest to you, “I am sending you in the same way
the Father sent me,” and I always took it to mean less self-seeking and more
quiet mountain retreating. But I have seen tv men (this is poetry, so I admit
my license usage) who love themselves and the stage, and I could be one.

Lest I forget, the sins that crowned Your crumpled brow, I will quietly
hope to follow well, and, not before the crowds, but before my King,
I will
bow.

Knowing God's Plans

“If I am so special to you, let me in on your plans. That way, I will continue being special to you. Don’t forget, this is your people, your responsibility.” Exodus 21:28

Every serious Christian can occasionally get bogged down with wondering if they are accomplishing God’s will. This can especially cause questions if we believe we are being obedient to Christ, but are seeing few results or experiencing much opposition. Add to that the simple human desire to have some certainty about what is coming next and we can understand Moses’ words to the Lord.

Humble and Meek

“But I will leave among you a humbled and poor people, who shall take refuge in the name of the Lord.” Zephaniah 3:12

Humility and meekness (the intent behind the word “poor” in this passage) have rarely been seen as desirable character qualities, and understandably so. If a person’s world-view includes getting the most out of life, making the most money, advancing yourself to the highest possible pinnacle, humility simply isn’t the way to get there. Qualities that appear much more active are required; such as perseverance, courage or confidence. But meekness? No, that is for monks and nuns. Humility? Forget marrying it with a career in big business.

Among the Noises

Among the Noises

“[God] first saved us and then called us to this holy work. We had nothing to do with it. It was all his idea, a gift prepared for us in Jesus long before we knew anything about it.” 2 Timothy 1:9 [The Message])

Banish the velvet thrones, the lookout points above the rest,
Bulldoze the silver stands, the pulpits of pretense undressed;
And plant in their places, build common spaces,
quads and plazas, parks and picnics
where gifts are shared at sea level,
work is hands upon hands passing the plans
initialed before notions of my,
authored above contests of why.

Ears to the sky, eyes flying in reply to
the request sent pre-echo,
the orders cast, the Word applied,
the first are last, the down upside,
and few find their way, and pass the
narrow gate with their furniture too wide
to carry home.

Build me a legend and I’ll feed you hungry,
story upon story, we covet the sky,
Tell me your hero and I’ll know you roughly,
conquest upon success, we conspire to buy

Our way home.

But bought before us, and called last and first,
the Beginning of beginnings, the Author of earth
tracks us down, subtracts our precious,
counts our zeroes and calls us total when we
step down from our thrones and all other self-owns,
to find our voices among the noises of the redeemed.

Mercy!

“God gave in. ‘It won’t happen,’ he said.” Amos 7:3

Well, those are words I always like to hear. God tells me I’ve got it coming, then relents and says, “Nope, you’re not going to have to pay this time.” “Whew”, we think, “that was a close one!” And perhaps we bow gratefully before our merciful God. Or maybe we just skip away not realizing the ramifications of what God has just done.