The Art of Confident Humility

The Art of Confident Humility

“Too much pride brings disgrace; humility leads to honor.” Proverbs 29:23

Our daughter Sarah teaches first grade. I love hearing the stories she tells about her young students. The other day a little boy hurt his head on the playground and was taken to the office. They gave him an ice pack to put on the injury. When he went to take it back the secretary asked, “Is it better?” He replied, “The side where I put the ice feels better. But there is a bump on the other side too.” Puzzled, she asked him, “How did you get that one.” “I don’t know. Maybe when I came through the birth canal.”

Even though Sarah teaches first grade, a kindergartner noticed her recently. Sarah had worn her hair in braids the day before and took them out for the next day, leaving her hair fluffy and a little wild. To keep it all under control she wore a headband and pushed it up over the unruly hair. The little student was heard to say, “I like Ms. Phillips’ hair today. Now she looks like a little kid like me.”

From a five-year-old, that is a compliment. If I was to tell her she “looks like a kid” she might refuse to call her father for a day or two. But, here’s the thought: Sarah’s self-confidence shines through a loving humility that others can see. Without saying too much, she has worked hard to have a positive outlook combined with a humble spirit.

I like eating out and trying new cuisines. Who is it that tells you about the special of the day? Usually the server, right? The chef doesn’t come out and brag about her creations before you have taken a bite. The server tells you about the menu and you might ask him to recommend something. “The asparagus jubilee is out of this world tonight,” he might say. (No one would say that, but I think I got your attention.)

You go ahead and order the special. You have good conversation during the meal punctuated with sips of wine and comments about the other diners. You take your time tasting each bite of this new experience and are surprised at how delicious it was. You call the server over and utter the classic words, “My compliments to the chef.”

If we reverse that scenario, and the chef comes out first, bragging about every item on the menu, there won’t be many plates coming to the window for service. She is too busy puffing her accomplishments to actually provide you with the scrumptious meal. No “compliments” to her at the end of the meal, and if she made a habit of this behavior, she might not have a job in a few days.

There is a problem I see in much of the conservative church world; we have an answer for everything. We schedule “Daniel Fasts” as if that is a Biblical mandate rather than a historical record of a particular situation. We talk about “binding the strong man” without really understanding what Jesus meant. We “take authority” over this spirit and that spirit while the poor are hungry just blocks away from our church doors.

What if we took Jesus’ words about “blessed are the meek, the poor, the peacemakers, the hungry for justice” seriously? What if we spent less time trying to make things happen in the “spirit world” and simply lived out the Spirit of Christ who indwells us? What if we humbly and daily submitted our needy and hungering hearts to the God who loves us dearly?

Here is our example: “Christ was humble. He obeyed God and even died on a cross. Then God gave Christ the highest place and honored his name above all others.” (Philippians 2:8-9) Jesus, who was truly God, didn’t make a big deal about his divinity. He gave up that standing and became like us. Why? Out of love. God, who has every reason to boast, chose humble love as the way to bring us to Him.

Your very life is not your own, it is a gift. Did you decide to have brown eyes? Was it your choice to have a brain for math? Did you create the muscles that help you dig your garden, throw a football well or wiggle your toes in the sand? Why, then, should we boast about anything?

Everything is grace, from your first breath to the life God has offered you in Christ. Everything has been given to you by the One who loves you the best. True humility recognizes this, rejoices in this and revels in wonder.

In the fourth chapter of John Jesus strikes up a conversation with a Samaritan woman at a well. He does not begin by saying, “I’m the Messiah, now worship me.” Instead, he humbly asks her for a drink. Their dialogue continues as she wonders that this Jewish man would as her, a woman five times married, for a drink of water. As she becomes more convinced of the goodness and kindness that stand before her, she calls him a prophet and asks about where people should worship.

It is only near the end of the conversation that Jesus reveals he is the Messiah. She says, “I know that the Messiah will come. He is the one we call Christ. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.”

Jesus replies, “I am that one and I am speaking to you now.”

Jesus, confident in his identity as the Messiah, did not have to boast or lead with that. Instead he created a relationship with her. He engaged in one of the deepest spiritual conversations in the gospels with an outcast woman. He neither condemned her nor puffed himself up. He led her close by showing interest in her life and her thoughts. And, as when the sun peeks through a day dark with clouds, Jesus admitted “I am that one; I am the Messiah.”

For a Christian, our maturity is measured by our likeness to Christ. It matters not if it is emotional or spiritual maturity; Jesus’ character is what determines our identity and our progress.

Our maturity is stunted if we do not stop the flow of ego. But we grow as we open our hearts to hear. Boasting and ego will cause us to be cut off from friends with whom we disagree. It can cut us off from business ideas because we think our way is the only way to do things. It will cut us off from learning because we already know how things are supposed to happen.

Most of all, it can cut us off from the Holy Spirit, because our experience is more important than what She actually wants to do within us. Boastfulness is loud. The work of God’s Spirit is quiet and must be heard with an open and receptive heart.

Learn the art of confident humility. Simply go about the business of doing good in the world, representing the grace you have received from Christ. Leave the bragging and boastfulness to others.