I Made a Pilgrimage

I Made a Pilgrimage

(“He led them with a cloud by day. And he led them at night by the light of a fire.” Psalm 78:14)

I made a pilgrimage to find god or
some other unfunction the world had begotten.
I climbed the sand dunes, I separated the leaves of every book,
I listened to the radio, I evaluated every halo and hook.
I scanned space past the asteroids, I peered into DNA,
I learned the bark of the neighborhood dogs, I learned their names as well.
I drove by a few churches, I read their signs advertising spiritual delights,
I noticed some were under new management, I noticed some made no boasts.
I drove round the river bends, I stopped to watch the salmon climb,
I watched the horizon burning, I breathed the ashes from distant fires.
I called a friend, they did not answer. I left a message, they did not call.
I sent thank-you cards, I sent flowers by mail.
I sent photos of my children, I sent selfies as well.
And I waited for the light to explode,
I waited for the cloud to overflow.
I waited for the sun to move across the sky,
I waited for the rain to blow under my tent and tell me why

I need wait at all.

I went to the doctor to test my blood,
I went to the preacher to fall under sudden conviction,
I went to the teacher to learn my lessons,
I went to the hillside and hoped heaven would be in view.
I lay down in the grass, I was weary at last,
I needed another reliable silence to finally fasten
the springs and winters of my past to
the present where my heart beat too fast.
The hideaway was tucked between a dive bar
and a craft store
and so I decided

To find God there.