We Need You, Prince of Peace

“Ezra was determined to study the Lord’s Teachings, live by them, and teach their rules and regulations in Israel.” Ezra 7:10

Today 20 children were shot and killed by a crazed man in a Connecticut elementary school. They dead are primarily kindergarten students, plus the shootist’s mother who was a teacher at the school. Not a week before a man opened fire in a shopping mall, killing two and taking his own life as well. Nearly 10,000 were in the mall at the time of the shooting.

Today I am overwhelmed. I want to go somewhere and sob. I want to grab the world around the throat and scream, “Why?” The mall where the earlier shooting took place is directly across the street from my daughter’s apartment. Apparently her boyfriend’s sister had briefly dated the gunman. That is close; family close, real human-being close.

All the worst and best sentiments have risen to the top in my own thoughts. I am so angry, yet I have no idea who to unleash the anger upon. Both gunmen are dead. Should I go find the person who sold the firearms to these men? Should I yell at their parents and accuse them of raising evil children? (Those men’s families are certainly grieving too.)

Actually, the sentiment that scares me the most is the one that just wants to carry on. It took me all day to actually read an account of the shooting. Granted, it’s an extremely busy day for me. I am in last minute preparations for both our church’s Christmas program this Sunday, and the High School one act play I’ve directed and will be staged in less than a week. Still, I wonder if I’ve used the busyness to keep me from directly thinking about the horror.

In my little town of 600 a siren screams in the distance and irrational fears wonder if someone decided to try this killing spree stuff right here in our backyard. Truth is, a widow has probably fallen in her home or had a heart attack. Either way, life is so tragically fragile. In a moment a crazed man can snatch away nearly two dozen tiny lives while our parents and elders may pass in the night without our knowing.

It is too soon, too fresh, to write about answers. I do think about Ezra, though. He had a huge job ahead of him, fraught with danger, possible conflicts, and long days of work. He was entrusted with rebuilding the temple in Jerusalem. Having finally received the go-ahead from the occupying king, he set out to begin the work.

But, before he applied any sweat to the building itself, he prepared his own heart. He was determined to study the Lord’s teachings and to live by them. He was just as determined to teach what he had learned. I think that is my determination. Whatever happens in the long-range view of these sort of horrors, what does God expect of me?

I couldn’t help but think of Jesus’ words telling us that anyone angry with his friend is as guilty as a murderer. When we think about the words in the abstract we nod and commit again to not fly off the handle so much. But, in light of the slaughter of this young students, is it forgivable to wonder if Jesus might have exaggerated just a bit?

How can my anger be as bad as mowing down someone’s babies? How indeed? Yet, Jesus did say it, and I am determined to take His words seriously. How appalled I am at the way I can take offense so quickly. You can place your bet without fear of losing a penny, I would never take up a gun and take someone’s life. But I wouldn’t be lying to say I have said things in my anger that had the power to harm someone’s reputation.

Oh, I’m not a habitually angry guy. But these shooters weren’t either. As we often put it, “They snapped.” Perhaps. And, if that is so; and if the possibility of “snapping” holds the possibility of such dire consequences, perhaps today is the day to consider: “Jesus, what does it mean for my life to take Your words seriously?” I don’t want to believe it, but I have the same possibility of harming someone’s life as these two men. The difference may only be the ammunition I use.

Jesus, Prince of Peace, teach us to live Your ways. Help me struggle through to find Your ways in the midst of such horrific tragedy. And, help us all to find ways to comfort and strengthen victims of the violence that is far too common among us.