Keep a Close Watch

“Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers.” 1 Timothy 4:16

Besides being pastor of a rural church, I also coach the local high school drama club. We try to produce two one act plays per year as well as learning stage techniques and character formation. I try, by the end of four years to have offered my students the equivalent of a first year level of high school theater course work. Since we meet one hour, once a week, that seems an attainable goal.

When everything goes well and a troupe of players all trust each other, there is nothing more energizing the rehearsing a production or spending an hour honing our improvisational skills. But, if someone believes they know all there is to be known about theater (at the ripe old age of 16 or 17, of course) it can hinder both the joy of learning and the learning itself. Life is full of fine balances between trying to share our knowledge on the one hand, and coming across as the latest know-it-all on the other. One of the key words I always drive home with my players is “generosity”.

The point isn’t to get all eyes on you at all times; the point is to move the scene along as a whole. If an actor does that, they are “generous” letting the other characters take center light at the appropriate times. When we practice improvisation; short scenes without a prearranged script, I like to see a dominant actor pulling another quieter one into the scene. “What line of work are you in?” she might ask to her stage-fellow trying to stay in the background.

Just as the best actors are aware enough of themselves to be able to offer generosity on stage, so leaders who follow Jesus need to also be self-aware. Paul tells Timothy, a young pastor, to keep a close watch on himself. That reminder, though, should be taken to heart by any Jesus-follower. Crack open the hard shell that desires constant attention, and seriously consider how generous I am toward those who occupy the “stage” of my life.

Do I crave constant attention and approval? Do I act as if I know exactly what God wants in any give situation? Do I jump in with ready counsel to every concern a person shares? Or, having closely watched myself, do I measure my responses? Do I give people time and openness in which to truly express themselves?

This is all very important because it will help or hinder what we are trying to get across. That’s why Paul tells Timothy to watch his own life before he adds the need to also guard what he is teaching. Even when I was acting in high school, there were people I looked forward to working with on stage, and others I wished were not in the scene with me. Even now as an adult, I’m sure the reason can be as much my selfishness as theirs, and mores when I was a teen. We always got more work done the more generous each of us was in rehearsal.

But Paul makes sure Timothy understands that he does not have the privilege of just making doctrine up as he goes. There is a script; or at least, there is a body of truth around which all the rest of our life should play. It is a sad thing to watch Christians swayed back and forth by silly teachings that do no good except to disrupt churches and line the pockets of a paltry few who tinker with the truths of Scripture instead of keeping themselves carefully in check.

An actor who has not learned their lines well can destroy an entire show. The audience waits while the single actor who thought memorization was unimportant, now fumbles, not sure what to say or even do next. His fellow players prompt him, trying to move the scene along, and sometimes that works. But usually, the lazy player has so mangled their part of the script that no one else even knows when to come in. Dialogue jumps forward one scene and then back two more and the audience is thoroughly puzzled at what the play even means.

Recently I saw exactly the opposite take place. Along with my daughter, Sarah, we took her mom to see the musical “Wicked” for her birthday. The show was a delight. The staging was breathtaking, the music spot on, and the two leads truly brought the house down. Two young girls who become the “Good Witch” and “Bad Witch” of the famous “Wizard of Oz”.

What we didn’t know until after the curtain call was that the “Good Witch” was not played by the usual cast member. She was played by the understudy. Not only that, this was the very first time the understudy had performed the part in front of an audience. The cast announced this to the already standing audience and, well, if it was possible for us all to do handstands to give her an additional ovation, we would have. I would not have guessed in a million years that she was the understudy.

An understudy must commit at least as much time as the primary actor. But, she is probably a regular member of the chorus, shuffling in and out as a minor character throughout the run, and possibly is understudy for more than one part! All of that work without any guarantee at all of ever performing the part.

What if we all who follow Christ took the same attitude? What if we who serve in leadership had the work and study ethic of an understudy? We watched our lives so well, and learned the lines so perfectly, that, when called to stand in for anything God asks, we are ready! But, what if we have spent our time going after our personal desires, not giving much attention to God’s ways, and we are put in a place of leadership?

Many simply fake it. But, there are also many who, with deep humility and generous souls, are always in preparation. You catch them in prayer when they thought no one was watching, you see them talking to the ones no one else cares about, you see them persisting in simply doing good, without much thought of either the cost or the reward. Those are the people who have learned what Paul is teaching Timothy.

Keep a close watch on your own life. Stick to the script. And, don’t give up, keep at the good things He is teaching you.