Calm Down

“Do not say, ‘I’ll pay you back for this wrong!’ Wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you.” Proverbs 20:22

Sometimes the pain that continually plagues us is not the result of wounds inflicted by others, but rather are the result of repeated attempts to pay back the wrong. It is something like a fire. The first wound is a flaming cluster of dry kindling. To repay the burn, we throw our own inflammatory actions onto the fire. Not only is there no balm or healing, but we actually create even greater heat.

These “pay back” sessions rarely end with the first fiery response. Burning words and actions aflame with retribution only feed fierce blaze until it is nearly impossible to extinguish. More lives are damaged as a result of the desire to pay back a wrong that was done to us.

The initial pain, if worked through in a healing fashion, can be manageable. But the pain which results from constant sessions of payback never heals. Like a wound that someone constantly picks, it has little chance to completely heal.

Most of the time we think the person deserves our payback. Their actions or words directly hurt us, and the only course of action is to make the playing field even one more time. Let them feel the hurt to the same degree that they caused it. This might work if we human beings were rational beings who always acted out of simple logic. But we do not. More times than not, the person doing the wounding actually believes they are in the right!

Think about it. The last time someone was hurt by a word or action on your part, when it was shown to you, didn’t you think your actions were justified? You were simply trying to set someone straight, or you wanted to correct someone before they ran aground. You were only trying to help, right? So, if they attacked when your attempts to “help” inaccurately stabbed them in the heart, you might react wounded yourself.

Slow down! Cool down! Let the initial rush of anger and hurt pass by. Though your emotional reflexes insist you must act now, that is not true. You can wait. If you unwisely pick up your club to hit back, you not only will cause more wounds, you will obviously not display the Spirit of Christ.

It is no great wisdom to say, “Forgive”. Though more difficult than the mere admonition, it heals what would turn into a raging infection if we take the battle into our own hands. To let old injuries irritate your heart, and to plan how to get even only keeps those old wounds open and creates new ones.

When you feel the pull to answer back, especially if you think you will look like a fool if you don’t, do what this proverb advises: “Wait for the Lord, and He will deliver you.” It costs us nothing to heed this advice. Lay the hurt before God, tell Him every angry thought, every burning nerve ending. To cry, shout, yell our pain out at God Himself is the start of healing, without the side effect of causing further conflagration.

Then, believe what He said, that He will deliver you. He will do it, though we have no idea how, though we might never guess His final method, He will make things right. We are often made to look foolish when we answer back in anger. But, to wait upon God gives Him the chance to work, not only on the perpetrator’s heart, but also upon our own.

The more we wrestle with ugliness, the more it sticks to us. The more we stoke the fires of conflict, the greater the damage will be. So, take some steps to slow your mind and emotions down. Get rid of the energy in non-violent ways. Write it out, pray it out, sing it out, whatever works for you. But refuse to be a part of an ongoing wildfire nearly impossible to put out.

Wait, yes, that means some patience; but wait. He will deliver.