When to Avoid Discomfort

“After all, if I had made you uncomfortable, how could you have cheered me up when you were uncomfortable?” 2 Corinthians 2:2

There was a lot about which the Corinthians should have been uncomfortable, and especially in regards to the Apostle Paul. He had to call them out on a number of issues in his previous letter. They had been misusing spiritual gifts, arguing over who was the greatest, wisest or most knowledgeable about spiritual things. They snubbed the poor, made a mockery of times they celebrated communion, and did nothing about a man who was regularly having sex with his step mother.

If I was in leadership of that church and heard Paul was making a visit, I would undoubtedly feel uncomfortable! Paul had addressed all of these concerns in a previous letter and was fairly satisfied that they had been addressed. At the same time, knowing how large groups of dysfunctional people work, I am certain there still lingered traces of their old behavior.

So Paul encourages them, letting them know that their discomfort would only make him feel uncomfortable as well. In fact, the phrase translated as “cheered me up” is the same as what is the Father calls the party he gives to the Prodigal son. “How could any of us enjoy ourselves if my coming made you uncomfortable?”

What a beautiful sentiment. Paul is not concerned with cracking a whip, looking over their shoulder or looking for evidence to turn over to the Jerusalem CSI. He tells them two verses later that even when he had to reprimand them in his previous letter that it was “with a heart of anguish…in order that you might sense the love I so richly bear you.”

Paul understood how interrelated we are as believers. It did neither him nor the Corinthians any good to make them uncomfortable with his visit. It is for our good that God allowed this to be recorded. We need to understand that, though issues need to be dealt with, they also need to be handled in ways that limit discomfort.

Paul is greatly concerned for the relationship between the Corinthians and himself. He could have given them a spiritual spanking and then had nothing to do with them. Instead, he insists they should not feel uncomfortable by his visit. Almost with a wink of the eye he says, “Who is going to make me happy if you are unhappy because I am coming?”

Paul would not allow any separation to seem to come between his beloved Corinthians friends and himself. He would not hold anything against them. He would hold no previous misdeeds over their heads. Even though some of those misdeeds included people saying Paul was a stupid spiritual simpleton!

If God’s people would understand how highly our heavenly Father views us, it would change so much! Before the Prodigal Son even spoke a word of confession the father was embracing the boy with a hug and kiss! There is no use castigating someone about their sin if that person thinks we are doing it from anger.

Paul wants the family to be intact. He opens his arms in the sort of love that only can be found in God’s kingdom. Unfortunately, many of His residents still respond with the ways we have learned in our “other” country. As new citizens of the country of the Father’s Love, we are honor bound to care deeply for those who have struggled along the way.

So Paul makes up his mind to either cancel his planned trip, or at least postpone it until the Corinthians won’t feel so uncomfortable. He has true discernment, is more concerned about their feelings and what negative consequences that any continued embarrassment on their part might bring. Truly we should think the same way.

We can think carefully about how my brother or sister will receive the words I am saying. We should not say, “They shouldn’t feel that way.” We should do our best to anticipate exactly what they might feel, what might make them uncomfortable, and do our best to allay those concerns. A fearful heart seldom is able to either reprimand or love.