Gentle Among You

Gentle Among You

(“As apostles of Christ we certainly had a right to make some demands of you, but instead we were like children among you. Or we were like a mother feeding and caring for her own children. 1 Thessalonians 2:7 NLT)

Paul shares the model of his leadership among the Christians in Thessalonica. As an apostle, he had authority given to him directly from Christ, and he says he could have used that authority to make demands on them. But, in fact, he did not.

He says that he and his team were “like children among you.” A few manuscripts read “we were gentle among you.” I’m not sure it changes the sense a great deal. Paul is contrasting his style with those who were trying to lead the Thessalonians astray. Instead of being know-it-alls, we were like little children. Instead of being harsh and demanding, we were gentle among you.

We desperately need leadership like this today. We have evangelical leaders making harsh and even misleading statements about those with whom they disagree. The majority of white evangelicals zealously support a president who is constantly vulgar, abusive and self-centered. Recently the president of a well-known evangelical college tweeted that a pastor with whom he disagreed should “grow a pair.”

When a fellow Christian commented that this was unbecoming for a “minister of the gospel”, the university president said, “I have never been a minister. I am an educator.” I’m not sure I understand the difference. For me, it is not the crass language, but the attitude that causes me to wince. “Grow a pair” is an appropriate way for a Christian leader to deal with brother in the faith, so long as that leader is not a “minister”? What have we become?

When we lived in North Dakota our family was invited to a farm for the afternoon. Our boys, Michael and Jonathan, had befriended the family’s sons and we looked forward to getting to know all of them better. We loaded up our 1986 Isuzu Trooper and drove the 10 miles to the farm.

It was a beautiful summer day, which was fortunate, because summer only comes one day a year in North Dakota. That year it happened to arrive on June 15.

When we pulled up to the house Michael and Jon, who were 9 and 5 at the time, scurried out to meet their new friends. We stood outside with their mom and dad enjoying the sunshine and getting to know each other. Jay, the father, talked about cloud-seeding to bring more rain to the area that was experiencing drought. It was captivating to hear both his theories on cloud-seeding and how he loaded and flew his Cessna up and over the possible fluffy targets.

The boys had scampered to one of the outbuildings where they mounted four-wheelers and were riding around the property. We watched them circle another building and could tell they were having the time of their life. A few minutes after they disappeared behind the building we heard a loud yell.

At first we thought nothing of it; perhaps a yelp of delight. But we heard it again, and then saw Jonathan running toward us on his little legs as fast as he could. Michael was hurt and he needed our help. We ran to the building to find Michael on the ground with the four-wheeler overturned next to him. Arriving, I knelt down to see what had happened and saw a gash in his calf; a deep and open wound. Making the turn around the corner he lost control and the building’s metal siding sliced into his leg.

We hurried to do what we could. Jay and his wife went inside to get some clean rags and bandages, I ran back to the Trooper and drove it to the spot of the accident. Inspecting the wound closer we could see he was not bleeding out, so we decided to drive into town and take him directly to the doctor. Jay would call ahead for us.

But we also knew how important it was to keep pressure on the wound. We backed the Trooper up next to Michael, lowered the middle seat to make room for him in the back, and we lifted him gently inside. There was not room for Patti in back, so Jonathan got nurse duties. He climbed in the back with his brother.

We told him, “Jon, you have a very important job. You need to keep pressure on that wound using the rags. Don’t be afraid to be firm.” We weren’t sure how Jon would respond, the gash was ugly, cutting all the way through the flesh and revealing the white ligaments beneath. But he bravely kept his little hands firmly on bandage covering the wound for the quick and sometimes bouncy ride to the doctor. Too firm, Michael would wince, and Jon would ease up a bit. Other times Mike would tell him, “You can hold it tighter.”

Arriving at the doctor’s office the staff unloaded our son and took him into an examining room. The doctor was surprised at our little EMT who had held put pressure on the wound so bravely. Michael required two sets of stitches; one beneath the skin, and one set to close the wound entirely.

In some ways, this illustrates what Paul is expressing. We were “gentle”. Gentle does not mean “dainty”, but it does express loving care that is willing to apply just the right amount of pressure and no more. Indeed, Paul describes his attitude when he says, “we were like a mother feeding and caring for her own children.”

Why would Christians ever use anything other than gentleness and nurturing care when dealing with each other? Even more important, why do we think that using crass and harsh methods with non-Christians is appropriate or even effective?

In fact, the only other time this word for “gentle” is used in the New Testament, Paul says, “A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone.” (2 Timothy 2:24 NLT) “Kind to everyone” translates the same word rendered “gentle.

Dear friends, let’s be like Christ. Let’s not settle for leadership that looks like the worst the world has to offer. May the Holy Spirit transform our hearts to exercise gentle love because we are all wounded in one way or another.