Regret or Restoration?

“You see, in the good news, God’s restorative justice is revealed. And as we will see, it begins with and ends in faith. As the Scripture declares, ‘By faith the just will obtain life.’” Romans 1:17

I watched a television show last night that offered the following question: “Which is worse, regretting what you did do, or regretting what you didn’t?” Regrets can pile up like unwashed laundry the longer we live. And the closer we get to our final day on this earth, the less opportunity we have to act on any of our regrets.

I personally regret no pursuing my higher education. At the time I truly felt that God was leading me in a “different” way; so I gave up college just short of a two year Associates degree. My high school marks were high enough that I probably would have been offered a handful of academic scholarships. I’ve picked up a couple of classes along the way; one in business, the other a Persuasive Speech class: two in 37 years. Let’s see, I should be about 165 years old if I were to pursue my B.A. at that rate.

But I also regret lies I told my parents as I grew up. None of them were out of the ordinary. I smoked during high school and told them I didn’t. I regret the pressure I put on my wife before we were married when she wanted a little time apart to think through our relationship. I wish I had been mature enough to not hang on so tightly. I regret not speaking my piece when I felt authorities were misspeaking or acting inappropriately. I wish I had trusted God enough to speak up.

I regret taking such a middle-class approach to my faith. I wish I had stepped out in faith more often, not worrying about my personal provision, and diving in to help those who no one else noticed. I regret having so little confidence in myself that I thought the only churches interested in having me as a pastor were small rural churches. I wish I had taken the couple of offers from large ministries along the way, instead of turning them down because I felt the Lord wanted me to stay in the tiny town of 1300 to pastor. (Was that really my reasoning, or was I piercingly afraid of failing?)

I regret opportunities not taken, sins unconfessed, songs I never wrote, bands I never played with, and places I didn’t go. I regret a life that now has my children spread from Minneapolis, to Portland, WA to Guatemala (although my son in the Peace Corps will be stateside soon.) I regret my siblings are in Chicago, Dallas and north central California while I live on the cusp of Washington and Oregon. I regret moving so often that I have very few deep friendships.

And, when I am most vulnerable, those regrets can consume my day. The tears well in my eyes even as I write this. I moved so often in the family I grew up in that I swore I would never do that to my family. Yet, here I am. I know I am not the only person with a mound of regrets. In fact, I’m probably as normal as the next person.

God’s plan for us is so much more expansive than simple forgiveness of past sins. Don’t get me wrong, that is the Numero Uno of the reconciliation Jesus provided between God and humanity. We stunk as human beings; we flunked out of the Creator’s School of Reflecting the Divine Image. If something hadn’t happened, we would have been destitute as a race, but all the time thinking we are at the head of the class.

But, if we make it all and only about sin, we miss so much that God has for us. I love this translation that replaces “righteousness” with God’s “restorative justice”. The Good News provided by Christ includes forgiveness of sin, but it open up a way to live without the leaden burden of regret. Job was tortured by Satan with God’s permission, but was restored in the end. The Prodigal Son ran away from home, loaded his Master Card so full that they refused him for their “priceless” commercials. Everything had a price for that poor young boy. But, coming home to his Father, all was restored and Dad threw a backyard bbq for the family and all the neighbors.

I still wish my children lived closer and that I had completed my higher education. I still prefer living in a metropolitan area than a rural town. Some things I can change. Other things are impossible. And some I have come to enjoy. But for them all, I don’t have to limp under the load of regret, dragging myself into the next day without joy. My Heavenly Father has restored things to the way they should be.

In His eyes I am exactly where I need to be, exactly the sort of son He loves, and fully reflecting the image He placed in me from the beginning. I know this because I trust what He has done. As the verse says, “All this begins and ends with faith.” So, honestly enough, I am a bit sentimental today (ok, more than a bit…I’m a sentimental slob today). Even so, I know the peace that from believing all is right with God. He has made it so through Christ, and I trust Him at His word.