“Act wisely toward outsiders, making the
most of the opportunity.” Colossians 4:5
I am currently reading a book title “UNchristian”.
It is based on years of thorough and thoughtful research into the image that
people from their teens to late 30s have of Christianity. I don’t plan to
rewrite the book in this small essay, but it is confirming a number of things I
already was fairly certain about.
The most compelling observation, and the
most obvious, in my opinion, is that those outside the Christian faith can
smell our intentions a mile away. The author shares about a business trip to
present data to some clients and was waiting to check out of his hotel. His
client arranged for a former pastor working with the organization to drive him
to the airport. A well-spoken man, he didn’t seem troubled at all to taxi him
around.
The writer describes the desk clerk, a
young man in his early twenties, asking about his profession as he processed the
bill. The author said that he researches the spiritual lives of Americans. Describing
his fatigue, and wanting to simply go home and rest, he wasn’t ready for what
came next.
The clerk started talking in great detail
about his own spiritual background, revealing that he once was a regular
churchgoer and his mom pushed him to attend. Now he was making up his own mind
about things. He told the author about a “great” he had just read, one
apparently not flattering to Christianity.
Our writer had also just read a great
book which he describes as “a short, winsome volume that described Christianity
in a fresh way.” He asked the clerk if he would be open to reading another
book, one that might help him think about Christianity deeply.
The clerk agreed, “But, you have to read
my book too.”
Finishing the checkout process, the
author promised to read the young man’s book. He wrote the title on a piece of
paper and they exchanged email addresses. He said, “You can let me know what you
think, and I’ll do the same.”
The clerk scribbled his own email
address, handed to the author, and said he would read the book. At that, the
retired minister ushered him to the waiting car. Praying for the clerk as he
slipped into the seat, all he could think about was falling asleep on the
plane.
His friend, the retired pastor turned
cabbie remarked, “I really liked the technique back there, how you got him to
read a book by promising to review the one he suggested.” The author writes
graciously about the comment in his book, but thoughtfully suggest that this is
what is wrong with much of our approach to those outside the faith. For him, it
had nothing to do with a “technique”, even if it was a good one.
“That wasn't a technique at all,” he
writes. “It just seemed be the right way to connect with the young man.” In
his mind the comment felt superficial, making a natural spiritual conversation
into some sort of formula.
Perhaps thinking deeply about how Jesus
interacted with people will help us. I personally have been through a number of
the best evangelism training programs in the last three decades. I have gone
door to door, I have shared tracts on the street where people are cruising, I
have preached the gospel in public parks and set up music and pantomime
productions on the main streets of small towns. And I would not trade anything
for the things I learned and experienced. But, as this verse tells us, we must
act wisely toward outsiders.
I have learned as a pastor, that it
takes at least three years for people to trust you. I am now pastoring my fourth
church and am only three years away from the big “6-0”. I am finding that three
years is really on the short side. I am entering my sixth year where I currently
pastor, and am finally seeing some fruit from relationship that I have begun.
Jesus had a purpose when He met with
people, to be sure. But it was all wrapped up in His personal love and concern
for the individual. His “methods” are as varied as the number of people He
encountered. He talks to one paralytic about being forgiven, He has a
theological discussion with an outcast Samaritan woman on her sixth man, He has
dinner with hell-raisers, flashes fiery words at those who tried to keep Him from
healing just because it was the Sabbath, and on and on. If Jesus approached you
today, the last thing you would think is “what is His ulterior motive?” The
reason is that He tailored His approach based on how receptive the person was
and how greatly Jesus loved the person.
When we constantly “press for a decision”,
we come off as people who want to add numbers to some “list”, like the
legendary quotas that cops try to fill in handing out speeding tickets. “Those
Christians, they just want to tell somebody…I don’t even know who…God? Their
pastor? Do they get points for people finally saying yes after becoming tired
of the tiny book with those circles and arrows and crosses? But, that’s what it
feels like…that I’m the prey and hunting season just opened.”
But, when we are genuine, when God’s
love flows out of us and toward those around us, we open up authentic
relationships. And, of course, we want to share the most incredible, awesome,
life-changing news in the world. For the gospel is not simply “Good News”, it
is literally the Best News Possible!
So, let’s behave wisely. It doesn't take
a rocket scientist, or even an expert poll taker to know that Christians have a
whole bunch of tarnish caked up all over our reputation. The only way to deal
with it is to be as real as possible, stop treating those who are “outside” as
if they are our targets, and start, in honest, Christ-like love, forming warm
and deep relationships with them. And can I add, that includes those groups
that you might consider offensive or “abominable”.
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