The Territory

The Territory

Uncertainty is the territory I’ve inhabited
for half a decade now. I love the Lover better,
(or should I say, to be true to the letter, I think
I do)
But have more questions in the face of so
many
who fancy themselves arbiters of answers.

If a salary was assured me, I would lock myself in a room
overlooking the River,
and half the day read and write, or write, or read,
or talk on the phone to friends long in my heart
and far too far away. Their territories are separated
by years of success and certainty; promises kept longer;
homesteaded sojourns of generations.

I would spend the other half
wandering the River, while talking on the phone
to everyone I’ve ever offended, one more time,
to be sure my amends are certain.
Then I would do what I have never done,
and call the ones who offended me. I would make
certain they understood, and, without threat of
salary’s loss, I could speak freely until the moment
when the light went on, without the urge to hide
getting the best of me. And, for the one who said
I want grace for me and judgment for the other,
he would finally see, if he apologized to me,
how much grace I truly yearn to offer.

Uncertainty is my zip code, if you desire to visit me,
take off your self-assurances and tell me you’ve struggled
lately in life
a lot like me.