I Did Not Miss the Wedding

 

I Did Not Miss the Wedding

(“The Lord said he would live in a dark cloud.But I have built you a high temple, a home for you to live in permanently.” 2 Chronicles 6:1-2)

The hills were a faster green this year as if
angels attended every blade of grass.
But with each footstep across the fields
my brain was full of steel marbles
rattling in my head.

I did not miss the wedding, would not miss it
for anything. But I missed the next morning when
the jumble of family nested in the living room. The
vise tightened around my brain that night.

The rains are a slower steel this year is if
riders lassoed them, bucking between the hills
that pushed the river to the sea. Showers were
predicted, holding off their payload the entire afternoon.
And when the wedding party were seated, chatting and playing,
the rain, mist by drop, arrived like guests
who had lost their way. We lowered our heads,
balanced our plates, and carried our chairs to the
rented tent for such an occurrence. The cheesecake
was well-protected.

She was waiting for something, the expectation in her 3-year-old heart
was ready to burst; she was waiting, shifting from one foot to the other,
ready for the moment to arrive. She was crazy for love,
crazy for love,
busy for fun. The dry tent was not her temple
so she escaped into the rain on the greening lawn.
Such tiny legs, such whirling with pink taffeta
trying to catch up. She extended her arms and became
a whirligig ready to explore the skies.
Her flaxen hair whipped round her face and shot
water droplets into the night.

I did not miss the tiny dancer,

I danced with my daughter
for the first time ever. It was magic, not make-believe,
it was perfectly impossible, it was the way humans celebrate
love, longing, friendship and family. It is the music that

Opens everything.