Of Pride and Paying Attention

“Listen, and pay attention! Don’t be arrogant. The Lord has spoken.” Jeremiah 13:15

It really is the same old story; our mouths are what get us into a world of trouble. I was recently in a meeting where a committee member commented on a line item in the budget. His comment was obviously wrong, based on a misreading of the item. But, even after being shown the correct reading by more than one committee member, he continued by saying, “I know what it says. This has actually been an issue for a long time.” Instead of saying, “Oh my, I see that, I misread it”, he insisted he was correct with the evidence right in front of his nose.

It is sad, but we are all tempted in the same way. We mislead people about ourselves, we inflate our accomplishments and we rarely admit failings on our part. Rare is the moment when, without prompting from anywhere else, a person speaks up and says, “I was mistaken.” We stand up for “facts” long after our favorite facts have been proven false.

God has a remedy: “Listen, and pay attention”.  Listening actively means I no longer am putting myself first. I am literally taking in what you have to say, word by word. I am paying attention to how you feel about the subject. Are you smiling as you tell me about last Thanksgiving with family, or is there a catch in your throat? When someone says they are doing “so-so”, do reflexively respond, “That’s good”? Learning to listen means to stop wanting center stage, and really hear what the other person is saying.

Training myself to hear God well means that my opinions and life experience are no longer the primary point of reference. I learn to get outside my own little solar system where I am the sun and the planets revolve around me. I stop, breathe, and quiet my soul enough to take stock and ask what is moving God’s heart right now. And, may I add, without the use of religious language.

A friend recently told me about someone who made a decision he felt was unwise, and probably outside God’s will. He said, “I told him there would be no anointing on that move.” I just had to wonder whether my friend had studied what “anointing” is all about. Why do we insist on using super-spiritual language, especially to people who aren’t in on it? Do I expect a 20-something young man to get my reference to an ancient Biblical reference? But, it makes us sound so righteous, doesn’t it?

Using “in” language is actually a way of isolating other people. It makes them feel like they our outside the loop and only confuses communication. It is another very real manifestation of pride. Instead of trying to sound religious and spiritual, perhaps we could major on listening to the language people around us are using. Then, thoughtfully, we try to share the truths of the gospel in words, phrases and images they will understand. But, of course, that requires less focus on me, and more on them, doesn’t it?

In the end, pride leaves us feeling profoundly empty. When we are so focused on self that we do not listen to others and we hardly pay attention to what God is telling us personally, we drive people away. People who talk about themselves usually hope others will be wowed and will ask for more. Instead, most people see right through the charade and eventually look for ways to avoid that person. Those who never learn to listen eventually find themselves very lonely.

The Lord is talking to rebellious Israel as he begs them to listen and pay attention. Their pride has not only damaged interpersonal relationships, it has taken them down the pathway of abusive idolatry. They are now worship pagan gods, serving them in all sorts of sexually indulgent ways and neglecting the care of the poor. It is quite interesting, by the way, that the two often go hand in hand. A culture given over to hedonism is often a culture that ignores the needy.

Where do you need to listen better? Do you need to practice real attentiveness? Remember, it is God Himself asking this from us. What was the last time you truly asked God to speak to your life, and you were willing to hear the answer? Yes, He may demand deep and painful changes, but the result will be an honest and courageous life that no longer cares about charades. The mask is off, and life has truly begun.