Taking the Lead

“But you are not that way. Instead, the most prominent among you must be as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves.” Luke 22:26

There is no dearth of information on how to be a good leader. It would be cynical to say that most of them disagree with Jesus’ teaching about servanthood; but I don’t think that is entirely true. Most business models emphasize being the best at providing for your customers’ needs. That seems to parallel Jesus’ statements about leaders who serve.

The difficulty is in personally acting it out in our own lives. Today I played guitar for 25 fifth-graders at a Veterans Day Assembly. It was fun and I truly enjoyed it. I learned “This Land is Your Land”; Woody Guthrie’s famous American anthem and practiced the fairly easy arrangement with them twice this week.

Besides the usual musician’s joy of playing, there is another side of me that likes people to know I’m good at something. I suppose that is part our human nature generally, and my desire for accolades personally. “Hey, I didn’t know Mark played guitar…or that he played it that good!”

With that back story and confession behind us, I take you to this morning. First of all, I forgot a pick. Big deal; use your fingers. But we guitarists know that does throw things off a bit. Plus, finger picking, without properly grown nails, is about half as loud as with a pick. I had forgone the use of a microphone for the very reason that I was using a pick.

Without time to run home and find a pick, I did my finger-picking best. It was not nearly loud enough, the couple of flourishes I did “flat-picking” didn’t work at all with my fingers, and, worst of all, I miscounted the number of verse we did. No big deal, except that the final chorus was to end with the last line repeated a little slower.

It didn’t happen, not with the guitar anyway. The director and fifth-graders hit their mark perfectly on the ending line, but I kept playing on tempo, right on through, as if we were riffing right into another verse. As everyone always says, “Nobody probably noticed.”

Wrong! I noticed. I noticed not playing it the way I wished. I noticed that the guitar probably wasn’t heard well. And I noticed, keenly noticed that I raced right past the ending. What I didn’t notice was how happy the students were when everyone clapped for them.

I’m a real servant leader, I tell you! I was happy to play for fifth graders instead of Carnegie Hall. I was ready at the first phone call to spend a couple of mornings at the Elementary School. I was glad to leave the important duties in my office to play a simple song for a room full of 10 and 11 year olds. But, you see, even though it appeared to be servant-like; my interior was still aching for recognition.

I’m not being too hard on myself…truly I am not. I know the very fact that I realize what was going on inside me is evidence I’m not all that into myself. But it does illustrate for me the deceptive nature of leadership and recognition. Even when we are trying to serve others, it can feel less fulfilling if no one notices. Or, when they do notice, it is when we have not performed up to par.

Whether it is to accompany elementary students, or lecture grad students at an Ivy League University, our drive can still be measured anywhere from self-serving to self-deprecating. I believe the healthy attitude is at neither end of that spectrum, but rather an attitude that places the needs of those I lead above my need for recognition.

So, next time I’m invited, I will once more gladly accept. And next time, if I forget my pick, I will try to be just a little less self-conscious, and a little more focused on how much fun those particular students are actually having. After all, it is our Loving Heavenly Father I serve, and I thing He enjoyed the music my friends and I made.