You Wept With Us

You Wept With Us

(“When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her weeping, He groaned in the spirit and was troubled.” John 11:33)

“It’s not time,” they said, “to change the way we see things.”
“It’s not time to answer the questions that plague us like parasites.”
They were right, of course. The answers whirled around the
early evening shadows that were longer than that exposed the
insane preoccupation with ignoring the obvious.
Death is death, there is no other way to explain it.
Underneath each breath, surrounding each tear like a
trapeze artist flying high, unspoken groans gave vent to
inexpressible holes left inside each heart that ever lost
the unimaginable. Now that hole in our heart weighed us down
like an iron anchor hitched to the ground.

I’m sorry we expected you so early. I apologize for pursuing
you. Our tears had not let up for the four days since he
fainted casually dead. We sat with him in his sickness but
we never imagined he would live us without a concrete goodbye.
It’s not time,” they said, “to change our awkward lives.”
It's not time to ask why we always lost the questions with
holes in our pockets.
The day began with sighs and groans and you showed up and
wept with us. You wept with us.
The pangs we felt like swords in our chest were pangs he
took upon himself. He mirrored our grief,
he reflected our heartache, he took our sorrow as his own.

We followed him to the grave as we craved his company.
The sun was setting and we wondered where his weeping
would carry us. We watched in anticipation as the tomb was
opened and his words; brief as a summer shower, invited life
to walk out of the grave like the earth giving birth.

There is None

There is None

(“Dearly loved friends, don’t always believe everything you hear just because someone says it is a message from God: test it first to see if it really is. For there are many false teachers around.” 1 John 4:1)

They are political, they are hidden wind,
They are hypocritical, they are only half sinned.
They are magic words, eyeball readers, mercy cheaters,
They are meaning clippers, double dippers dropping friends.

I once listened, cried, wept at their altars. I shivered, shook,
waited for the catered message to walk me home out of the hardship,
carry me quickly from hell to His Lordship. “You have a Christmas gift
coming, my son” he said. (I love Christmas, always have. I would love
something wrapped and tied with a bow on top from God.)

“Where are you looking for churches,” he said, “I do some inquiring
for you,” he said. He did inquire and, along with my name, told them,
if it’s all the same to them, perhaps they might select another name.
(I was to blame, they dug my grave of shame even deeper). I was
waiting for a good report. Mysterious messages appeared, voice mail
(I hate answering voice mail), “something has come up, and we are going
a different direction”, right after he inquired for me, my hopes expired for he
had not told us but a quarter of his plan.

They are righteous (in their own eyes), they speak truth (in their own ears),
they do good (to those who will not embarrass), they preach grace (except to
those who need it).

The false are righteous, the false are correct, the false drink coffee,
the false buy you new ties and hang them around your neck.
The false reflect the sun, the false blind everyone, the false drink no alcohol,
the false do no wrong at all.

I have confessed, I have more confessing left. But the false, in their perfection,
never admit their own sleight of hand, yet demand full repentance from all
(the more you confess, the better you will heal).

“You want grace for yourself and judgment for others”, one once said.
Instead of responding, let me test it instead. Once said say, “I have said things
I regret. I was out of order. I hurt you with my words.” I say to Once said,
“All is forgiven. Forgotten. You are now free to move about my friendship again.”

They will call my wife names, and protect their speech with claims of
authority.

No wonder, more than once God, your words say, “there is none righteous, no not one.”