The Instant that Shifted

The Instant that Shifted

(“I smiled at them when they did not believe, And they did not look at my kindness ungraciously.” Job 29:24)

It was an instant that shifted nearly everything.
He glanced the moment the mouth and eyes sparkled
and never forgot the embrace. It felt like water that
seeped through the silt and sand, purified by
seconds of time. It was a glint like diamonds,
a simple flash and he wondered if anyone else
had seen it. Was it simply and only for him,
and if so, what would the day bring if he tucked it
away like gold coins saved like time.

It was a sideways look, brief and accurate as a
laser pulse. It was barely a grin, that would be to
determined. This was more reflex, the way a baby
nearly laughs at funny faces over and over again.
It was pinpoint, entering his soul, pore to pore,
and saturated his tethered heart. It had not been broken,
but was too connected to mishaps of the past.

He wished he could capture the moment and turn it
around and around in his mind like a recipe for
cake he had eaten as a child. But the moment was enough,
the instant began to fill something deep just because
she had smiled.

The Instant Blues

 

The Instant Blues

(“Lord All-Powerful, the place where you live is so beautiful!” Psalm 84:1)

I’ve got the instant blues, the indigo that wraps around my
head like a fog.
I’ve got the instant blues, the claustrophobic morning, smashing my
head like a rock.

I did not invite you here, you’ve laughed at me since childhood;
I did not invite you here, you broadcast your bait like a fishhook.

I’ve got the instant blues, judged immediately but never seen.
I’ve got the instant blues, treated like a heretic, unclean.

I only asked for eyes to see me,
I only desired a wink and a nod.
You never answered, never darkened my door.
You never asked me, never asked who I adore.

I’ve got the instant blues, I stay in bed and wish it was longer.
I’ve got the instant blues, I’ve lost hope, and my heart is conquered.

Why did you take up arms against a pacifist and a peer?
Why did you take up arms against a court jester in the clear?

I’ve got the instant blues, I ink my heart and hope someone sees.
I’ve got the instant blues, I sink beneath silence every Sunday.

I only asked for a card in the mail,
I only desired dimensional scale.
You never offered, never asked why I bleed.
You never called me, never asked what I needed.

I’ve got the instant blues, and the beauty I cried for fills my
heart like summer.
I’ve got the instant blues, and the temple within me is
like no other.
And it fills my heart like a friend,
like a lover.