Today You Will be With Me

“Jesus answered him, ‘What I’m about to tell you is true. Today you will be with me in paradise.” Luke23:43

I vowed I would never say it, never entertain the thought; but the last night of our two week vacation with family in Minneapolis I cried out, “God must be punishing me!” The pain had continued the entire 14 days. I only felt good enough one morning of the entire vacation to venture outside of our oldest son’s house to find a coffee shop for some quiet reading. Even then, I stayed a very short time. That was the only time I left their house.

Before these headaches descended over five and a half years ago I was always the first one awake on vacation. I would almost always shower and head out for a new coffee shop to discover. Coming home midmorning I would find the rest of the family either still in bed, or just rising for the day. I loved my morning time. Now, one more “activity” has been subtracted by the struggle with New Daily Persistent Headache.

But, I vowed I would never give in to the one bad note I thought I had finally erased from my life’s song; “God is punishing me.” It is difficult to imagine God’s unconditional love when we suffer. We get caught between believing God is loving and believing He is powerful. In His love and power, He should be able to heal me and release me from the pain.

When we suffer, we either believe God is good and we must be suffering for personal wrong; or God is not so good (or powerful) and He doesn’t care, or is not able to help. I hit my “wall” that night as the pain gave its voice to my doubts and insecurity. You see, I can think of a good half dozen or so reasons God would have to punish me. Since He knows all, I’m sure there are another dozen or so He knows as well. Why wouldn’t this holy God punish someone who has violated His righteousness in so many ways?

But then I hear this criminal on the cross next to Jesus cry out, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” I don’t fault the man for his request. He, his fellow criminal on the third cross, and Jesus will all die within a few hours. This is “all in” time. Even if Jesus denies the man’s request, what has he lost, right? Without making light of it, I can see myself, in the same situation, begging for what might be a one in a million chance. “If Jesus says, ‘Yes’, it is all good. If he says, ‘No’; back to the suffering.”

Or maybe, so close to facing eternity, the criminal’s focus became crystal clear. He has already heard Jesus cry out from his cross, “Father, forgive them. They don’t know what they are doing.” Shortly afterwards a sign reading, “This is the King of the Jews” was placed above Jesus. Jesus’ words of forgiveness played against the clamor of soldier’s dice and the crowd’s scoffing may have opened a well within the man as the inkling of a Kingdom of mercy began to dawn upon him.

At any rate, Jesus did answer the man’s prayer. “Today…you will be with me in paradise.” (A theologian would define precisely what “paradise” is, but for now, let’s just consider it eternal life with Jesus.) We know nothing about the man’s life other than he is called a “criminal”. But, upon one simple prayer, a one-sentence request, Jesus quickly offers him a place in paradise. It will be “today” and the criminal will be “with me”.

Shouldn’t it speak a great deal to us that the last person offered “eternal life” before Jesus dies is a criminal? There is so little unconditional love in this world, it is no surprise we have difficulty receiving it from God. I wept, “God must be punishing me,” in bed next to my wife. She quickly said, “Of course not.” Neither she nor I have an answer as to “why” this pain continues, but she was quick to speak what she know was “not” the reason.

Dear one, do not let failure or mistreatment by other keep you from the Everflowing Mercy of God in Jesus. Do not let your present sufferings or your past mistakes make you think you are being punished somehow. Hear Jesus say, in His final moments, that you, too, can be with him “today”.

You and I may have to wait till the end of this lifetime for the literal “paradise”, but never think that His love is somehow muted here and now. There is not greater love that anyone can give than what God has given in Jesus Christ our Lord.