Come Away

Come Away

“And He said to them, ‘Come away by yourselves to a secluded place and rest a little while.’ (For there were many people coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat.)’” Mark 6:31

We were invited to silence after our noisy
debriefing and some latent laughter. We thought
it was time to dive in again, dive in again
following the success that we met on the road.
Wasn’t that man healed when we spoke?
Didn’t that woman rejoice when her baby boy walked again?
Didn’t dozens rejoice when we told them the Christ had come,
the Kingdom was come, the dream of God was come?
Didn’t they rejoice even when we did not grasp our words’
full intent?
I mean
we walked away and they followed us Jesus. The crowd
needed us Jesus. They wanted to hear your words Jesus,
not just the repeaters we broadcast.
We spoke the same language;
they understood our words, but ours were light balloons
and yours are weighty as the world.
Hey! Let’s heal some more people, look at everyone following us!

“Come away”.
Like a child who is over-tired and cannot be lulled asleep
I think we heard those words and wondered why we would
leave the crowds behind. We felt good. People were seeking us
out;
It was like we were finally in proper demand!

“Come away by yourselves.”
I guess he means it. But what is the point? We can
just pick up some bread on the way and keep giving the
crowds what they want. We’re not tired Jesus, we are
eager and energized.

“Come away…to a secluded place.”
See, that is what I’m trying to say. There will be
no people to heal
in the wilderness. We are full of energy. Yes,
we haven’t slept or eaten much, but there is
so much to do. We’re not quitters Rabbi.

“Come away…and rest a little while.”
Now that you mention it, I am a little light-headed.
My eyes are burning, my feet are calloused,
my mouth is dry as the desert. But now is not
the time to retreat Jesus. Let’s keep advancing!

“Come away.”
And we began to understand, our enthusiasm was
the excess stimulation of our nervous systems behaving
like steam locomotives going full gear.

He was telling us to learn when to rest, when to
let the stimulation go like smoke from a campfire.
He was telling us the rhythm, he was writing a song
with the silence and rests contributing as much as the
counterpoint and fugues we liked to dance to.

We drew our breath and followed his way,
even if some of the crowd insisted on staying.
Stillness is a gift, and we should not refrain from opening it.

Yeses

Yeses

(“For Jesus Christ, the Son of God…is not one who is ‘Yes’ and ‘No.’ On the contrary, he is God's ‘Yes’”. 2 Corinthians; 1:19)

The hours passed like low-lying fog;
the river was dressed in gray and white.
I don’t believe in your destructive God,
I don’t believe the fire is eternal,
I don’t believe the ice has melted.
I just believe the love that hastens to
lead me through the rain. I just believe
in yeses again and again.
I could stand with the sun melting the mist,
I could walk with the breeze kissing my cheek.
I could walk to your house
leaving my house for the afternoon.

We could talk all afternoon if you want to.
We could paint a dozen sunsets before dusk.
We could sink all the vessels of doubt;
we could let all the anxiety out and
leave it on the uncompromising ground.
We could sit next to the river where the
fog is silently lifting.
We could walk there past the man
walking his dog,
the seagulls dropping baby clams on
the pavement,
the ducks huddled against the cold.

Why do we wait, you and I,
to live out loud? Why do we question
who we are when who we are
has never been uncertain?

Do you remember how we played for hours
afternoons after school? Do you remember
making kites from newspapers and clubhouses
from scrap lumber? Do you remember
who we were before everyone had an opinion
about our worth?

All I hear (or hope to hear) are yeses that sound
like your laughter from the sky. We have both
carried these backpacks of expectations far too long.
Today let us walk unladen like horses in the fields.

Fractured Segments, Consonants and Vowels

Fractured Segments, Consonants and Vowels

“’My daughter’s going to die! My daughter’s going to die!’ he pleaded. ‘Please come—lay your hands on her—rescue her and let her live!’” Mark 5:23

Below the hum of marketplace rustle there are the
bass notes of a parent in pain. Troubles wind through
his throat and land at the bottom of his feet. He has no
breath
to project his plea much further.
But there is an ear that hears all,
there are feet that come closer to discern
the consonants and vowels that explode underneath.
And he took those fractured segments and turned them
into a dirge
that heard the anxiety that felt like a bat trying to break
out of the crying father’s chest.

It was like standing in a whirlwind, slow motion,
it was a tornado of fear.
It was like the sun had forced its way past his eyes
and seared his aching heart. It was like the moon
did not
exist at all.

He could not contain the weight that smoldered inside his chest,
he could not choose anything other than this unrest
that blinded him to the fog of people swarming with
their constant hum and cajole. He could only see the one
he hoped would see him. He could only see the
shadows that fell fast over him.

“Come”, he said, not knowing the answer.
“She is dying,” he said, not knowing the outcome.

He heard nothing but the eyes that heard, and heard
feet that were ready to follow him home. Everything
was smoky,
was befogged,
was blurry,
as the healer listened and came to his home. Live or
die,
he knew his hope was tied to a stranger that acted
like a friend.

You Heard Me

You Heard Me

(“In my distress I called to the Lord; I called to my God. From his heavenly temple he heard my voice; he listened to my cry for help.” 2 Samuel 22:7)

Somewhere between the margin of the
sky and earth my cry was heard. The sky was
as thin as a skin stretched over a drum.
The earth was thick and slowly rolling toward
the river that occupied my dreams.
I cannot quote a specific line,
I cannot identify the rays that broke from
sun to sky. I only know the vibration of my own
voice
lifted it over the trees and carried it further than
I could see.

This life has been a laboratory where
experiment and experience meet in unexpected
embrace. I theorize and record the results in
a journal written across my face. I still await a voice
that tells me my words are not insane. I still
await a hand
that helps me climb between earth and sky
where I walk foolishly and faint. Creation
changes with the tide; nature offers so little
insulation against the dark shades that haunt
the edges of my mind.

But you heard me. You let my distress arise;
you let the best of my poetry erase my first
draft of a life. I never belonged, or so I thought.
I dug my fingernails deep into the mud, squeezing
every pious word out of my undressed mind.
But you heard me, though no one patted me
on the back
to tell me I had finally gotten it right.
Prayer is not a magic formula learned in
lectures from experts.
But you heard me. And I walked assured on
the deep grass until I heard you as well as

You heard me.

Love Your Neighbor

Love Your Neighbor

(“For the one who eats and drinks without careful regard for the body eats and drinks judgment against himself.” 1 Corinthians 11:29)

With the grease of roast lamb running down your beard
and the newest wine filling your gut
you decided you wanted to tell me about Christ.
You pushed ahead so that nothing was left save
a few crusts of bread and the vinegar squeezed from some grapes.
You carried your gun tucked into the back of your belt;
I gave me sword away years ago.
You took the seat no one else took; you sat at the head
of every table you found.
You left the floor for the waiting poor, you left the door
open
so they could leave quickly. The cold night air stung
those sitting so close to the door ajar.

I heard there was a day (haven’t seen it yet)
I’ve heard there is a dream (haven’t held it yet)
I’ve heard of family (haven’t felt it yet)
I heard there was a meal (the richest served first).
I dared not raise my voice,
I shrunk even further behind the children you pushed
to the back of the line. I had been waiting to
enjoy a meal with humans just like me.
I had no double-breasted suit to wear,
I had few coins to cash in on my attendance,
I had few words to demonstrate I was part of the family,
I had left my voice behind the last time a church like yours
told me I was welcome

And then ignored my hopes,
teased my dreams,
and left me behind while you schmoozed with
the pastor and his wife.

I know my car has seen better days,
I know my jeans are torn,
I know my kids don’t always behave,
I know that Jesus told me to love my neighbor

And I’m trying. I only wish you would
love your neighbor
too.

It Used to be a Cathedral

It Used to be a Cathedral

(“You neglect what is more important in the law—justice, mercy, and faithfulness! Matthew 23:23b)

They think they have it all figured out,
they post their demands on the underlings’ foreheads.
They think their cause is just when it is
merely
the same chant they’ve hummed from day one.
They fashion their bombs and measure them by the ton;
they load their words like ammo for a machine gun.
They insist everyone pays their way;
they record everything they say and
play it back
just to listen to their own voice.

All the while the song beckons from
under our feet and over our heads;
the song is no longer today than then,
but we mishear it and shoot ourselves in the foot.

It used to be a cathedral,
now it is just an armory.
It used to be a library, but all the books have
been banned, they’ve been burned,
they’ve been ripped to pieces by incisors
of know-it-alls who never learned to celebrate
the paragraphs the send us into the world.

Every book you erase leaves another author
ready to rearrange tomorrow like it needed to be.
Go fold your laundry, find a good book,
get a glass of wine and read something classic,
or challenging,
or, if heaven allows, something rambling
that opens the world to take that little house on the corner,
open the doors
and allow the stragglers a place at the table.

They think they have the answers;
they have written them on index cards.
They think the lyrics should never be played backwards,
and ignore the plainsong that used to
remove the cannons from the parapets and
melt them into fork and spoons, along with the food,
that never was paid for in the first place.

They think we’ll be impressed with how
impeccably that are dressed. But we are just fine
with thrift store finds. We are waiting for
the day when we obey the truce that was
declared ages ago. We are ready to shed
our garments of pain and leave the battlefield,

Transforming it into a park with a bandshell
where the song is flung in every direction and the
children play undetected where we once
wrestled forged enemies to the ground.

A Muddled Encounter

A Muddled Encounter

(“May God, who gives you this endurance and encouragement, allow you to live in harmony with each other by following the example of Christ Jesus. Romans 15:5) 

As I was walking, jacket braced against the cold,
I passed a neighbor across the street I seldom see.
I glanced toward him
and then away, when he said something to me.
With my earbuds tuned to a favorite podcast,
I barely heard what he said. Indeed, I could not
decode it.
So I turned my face back to the sun, smiled, and
waved and hoped
it an appropriate response to whatever he said.

The possibility remains that he said nothing at all,
just background noise in my ears. Or he said something
to his pet pug at his feet.
The possibility remains that he asked me a question
and I dismissed it with a wave.

I hope you did not misunderstand me; I hope my response
was appropriate. Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow to rearrange
my words into a more palatable stew. Maybe you didn’t even
notice me. Maybe you wished I knew your name.

It was those few moments of a muddled encounter that
stayed with me through the afternoon. It was such a
tiny thing
occupying the front door of my thinking. I always
pet the dogs I pass, and wave at the cars. But I
will never know if my neighbor thought me unsocial,
or noticed me at all.